Just hold me!
by Muizeke83
Summary: Kathryn keeps having the same nightmare over and over and can't handle it anymore.


Just hold me

* * *

Rated: G

Spoilers: Waking moments

Summary: Something I came up with. Kathryn keeps having the same nightmare over and over and can't handle it anymore.

Disclaimer: Janeway and Chakotay are owned by Paramount. Story is mine! BDC 2010

* * *

Kathryn strolls to the mess hall, longing for Neelix' freshly brewed coffee.

When she enters, she sees that the lights are down and wonders if he's still there.

"Computer, lights on." she orders, but nothing happens.

It remains dark.

She proceeds with caution, finding it very odd that no one is there.

"Neelix?" she calls for him as she glances into the kitchen.

No answer.

She tries to let her eyes adjust to the darkness.

"Is anybody here?"

Again, no one answers.

A chill runs through her and she stops.

"Neelix?" she says quietly.

She turns around startled as he walks out of the kitchen.

"What can I do for you Captain?" he smiles and walks towards her.

"Where is everybody?"

"Didn't you see them when you came in?"

"Nooo." she says, shaking her head.

She was sure she hadn't seen anyone in there.

He places his hand on her shoulder.

"Take a look."

He leads her further into the sitting area.

She glances around, still not seeing anyone in there with them.

Her eyes are still trying to adjust.

"Computer, activate lights" Neelix orders.

Suddenly the lights come on and she sees some of her crewmembers sitting at a table.

They are dead, nearly skeletons.

Their skin grey, with long white hair and covered in cobwebs.

She gasps, not believing what she sees.

"What happened to them?" she asks him.

She suddenly feels sick to her stomach.

"They died."

"Why?"

She doesn't understand.

Something like this should take years.

She just saw some of them that very morning.

"You didn't get them home in time."

His words hit her like a ton of bricks.

She looks at them with compassion, feeling hurt of losing all of them, just because of what he just said.

* * *

Kathryn sits up in bed, panic-stricken.

She looks around, trying to figure out where she is.

When she realizes it was just a bad dream, she pulls up her knees and lays her head against them, trying to regain her composure again.

She swallows hard and fights off the tears that are prickling her eyes.

She can't remember the number of times she has had this same awful dream and it's bringing her down completely.

She gets out of bed and puts on her robe.

She walks to the bathroom and looks in the mirror.

Her eyes are bloodshot.

She's so tired, but every time she falls asleep, the same images haunt her in her dreams.

She splashes some fresh water in her face and decides to take a walk.

She doesn't even bother to put on her uniform.

The only thing she can think of is to get rid of these awful images of her dead crew.

She passes Chakotay's door and stops.

Without thinking, she rings his doorchime.

She waits a moment and just when she's about to leave, she hears his sleepy voice.

"Yes?"

"It's Kathryn. I'm sorry to wake you. Maybe it'll be better if I come back in the morning." she retreats.

"No, come in, I'm up now."

The doors slide open and she steps into his quarters.

It's all dark.

"Computer, activate lights to 30%." she hears him say.

He's still struggling to put on his robe, squinting as the lights come on.

He sees her standing there, hugging herself as if she was feeling cold.

"Are you okay?" he whispers as he steps up close to her.

She looks away and shakes her head, feeling her eyes growing moist again.

He pulls her into his strong arms and gently rubs her back.

She puts her arms around his waist and starts crying.

"It's okay, Kathryn, just let it out."

She doesn't hold back anymore and she cries, sobbing like a little child.

When she starts to quiet down, he pulls back a little, placing his finger under her chin to make her look at him.

Her eyes are still closed and he brings his thumb up to wipe her tears away.

"Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what's hurting you." he whispers.

"I can't take it anymore. I'm so tired." she starts.

"I keep having these awful nightmares about the crew. They are all dead because of me. Because I can't get them home."

Again the tears come and he holds her again.

"It's just a bad dream, Kathryn. Don't let it get to you like this."

She looks up at him, hurt in her eyes.

He kisses her forehead and smiles, trying to comfort her.

"I don't want to be alone tonight." she says, barely a whisper.

He let's go of her and takes her hand, leading her to his bedroom.

He pulls back the covers and she crawls into bed.

He lies down and scoots over next to her.

She turns to her side, her back to him and he spoons her, wrapping his arm around her.

He rests his chin in the crook of her neck, and kisses her cheek.

She relaxes in his warm embrace. He feels so familiar, even though they have never been so close before.

"You're safe with me, Kathryn." he whispers as he takes hold of her hand, intertwining their fingers. She closes her eyes.

"Don't let go, please?"

"Never!" he says.

She feels safe and finally drifts off to sleep.

* * *

The End…


End file.
